I received a response to the newsletter I sent out a couple of weeks ago that let me know to add a little more in this one.
If you didn't get a chance to read this newsletter, it's right here, in my Blog Page, titled "Getting your needs met in relationship".
Do you feel resentful that you are 'always' meeting their needs and not getting your needs met?
I know this place, it's brutal. AND there is help.
Most people who are givers, typically prioritize other's needs, and at first all the giving serves a purpose, they feel important, like they belong and have value in that position.
The problem is if that is one of the main ways they derive their value, it will blow up at some point.
We givers need to find our value in who we are, not what we do! So, if you can relate with being a giver, and you can be brave and see that part of you that has maybe been feeling important and valuable by what you are doing for others, way to go for noticing!
Take the time to figure out what your needs are.
And meet them!
Too often givers feel resentful because they are expecting that their person is going to give back to them the way they have been giving. The problem is this rarely happens, because the giver is also typically the one that isn't great at receiving!!!!
So when it comes time to receive from their person they will often minimize the effort, or squirm and deflect VS saying..."Thank you this is amazing, this feels great, yes please I would like you to rub my shoulders!!!"
So how does this tie into being resentful that you are giving giving giving and you don't want to give anymore?
By focusing on receiving!
Ask for what you want, then be open to receive!! Say, "Thank you", and let them get that cup of coffee for you, pick up the groceries, put away the dishes (yes, it might not look like the way you would, but heck they are doing it!).
Work on receiving!!!
We got this!!
PS: Feel free to send the link to my Blog Page to others you think may like to read a few. No sign up required :)
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